Speech by Nick Pye

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Wedding Speech Details:

Speech Type: Best man

Speech Creater: Nick Pye

Speech Date: Oct 2009

Speech Rating:    Based on: 51 reviews

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Speech:

Matt and I have been friends now for 17 years.  I have to say that it is a true honour to call him a friend.  

As Iam sure you will all agree, it has to be said how wonderful he is.  Tall, Handsome, Impecable dress sense, strong, well educated, extremely good at his job......fantastic company to be with, great  at telling jokes......a natural athlete, a true all round sportsman.........great body!  Great body??  

Hang on a minute......Iam sorry Matt...this speech  that you wrote for me.........I just cant keep reading it!!!............Throw speech on the table, look down......and you don’t look like Brad Pitt either!!!

My Speech begins.....

I was in all honesty very happy that Matt had asked me to be his Best Man.  He said to me, all I had to do was stand up and make a traditional toast to the Bride and Groom.......I though that that wouldn’t be a problem at all.........I just completely forgot there would be another 85 people sitting out front listening to me!!!

Apparently they say being asked to be a Best Man is like making love to the Queen Mother...??.....its a wonderful honor that you have been asked, but no one actually wants to do it!!

As you may have noticed there are actually 2 Best Men today........Myself and Graeme........It was on New Years Eve 2003, when Matt asked for a quiet word outside.....at first I thought he had managed to get hold of a secret stash of Beer, which would have been wonderful, but at this point he asked us both to do the honor of being his Best Men!!  He had decided that Graeme, clearly the most organized of us both, so he would be in charge of the Stag Do, Hotels, flights to Ireland etc, and I would simply make the Best Man toast today.  This did worry me slightly, I thought that there would be lots of emotion, tears, and then cuddles ...after all Graeme would be doing all the leg work, all the hard tasks organization.....and here was I standing in front of you with the true glory of being the best man....But I think right now, with me standing here and Graeme sitting comfortably with a large glass of Champagne in his hand.......he doesn’t seem to mind one little bit!!

I have to say that our duties as Best Men here today have gone better than even we could have expected......The stag do passed without a hitch...well almost......but more of that later......we got him up very early today, dressed "did his hair and make up for him".  We managed to get him to the church on time, which is very unusual for me.....going to church.......and being Punctual!!  We also managed to get him to the church today totally Sober, which is an achievement that should in no way be underestimated........especially for a Saturday afternoon!!  And even though now a bit of the full polished version may have faded, at 2pm this afternoon when Matt got here he looked Amazingly Smart!!!.........and normally Ladies and Gentlemen that's something that's totally Unheard of!!!


I phoned Matt earlier on this week, to check he was OK and that everything over in Northern Ireland was going to plan, he said that all was well, although he hadn’t actually been speaking to Sharon and .... for the 4 days he had already been here, I had to ask why that was......he replied that it wasn’t because they fallen out or anything but he hadn't wanted to interrupt!!


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I thought id better tell a story about the night that Matt & Sharon first got together..........well the clean one he told me anyway!!  The story goes the night they both together, was at a work do at a bowling alley in ??? which by all accounts was not as romantic as it should have been, because Matt in true style made himself look really cool by dropping a 16 pound bowling ball on Sharon's left/right foot, which must have stung a bit as everyone knows how thin and stylish bowling shoes are!!  All I can say Sharon is that even though this seems a very barbaric way to "woo" your future wife, he must have been trying really hard and like you very much.......because anyone in this room who has ever been 10 pin bowling with Matt must know, his aim is never ever that good!!......he said he was truly bowled over!!!...sorry had to get that in!
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As you know, I’ve known Matt for 17 years, and I think its only fair that I reminisce on our days growing up together by looking at that different career paths Matt had wanted to take through-out the years, in fact while researching this speech I asked one of his old nursery school teachers what she thought Matt would be when he left school.........she said...about 35 probably.  When I first met Matt age 11, like most young boys he wanted to be a fighter pilot, however sadly this was prevented only because he is colour blind, I do believe however this is a career that would have suited Matt more than any other, because any man with ears that size, would surely be able to fly!!!

The next on his list was to be a racing driver, a good choice because many of you know of Matts passion for cars.  The reason this never really came to anything, was later proved on his performance on the race track, we've been Carting together many times, and I recall one time after a poor finish, Matt came up with some of the best excuses I have ever heard..........this really is true ladies and gentleman, apparently the reason he had done so badly, was because his crash helmet had been the wrong way!!! Both his shoes were on the wrong feet and he was too tall to fit in the Kart, actually the last part which is quite true......he actually looks like Noddy.....sorry I mean big ears!!  He has kept an element of this dream up, because this man can clean a car like you wouldn’t believe, it really is a passion he loves, unbelievable, makes it shine like a mirror.....in fact at 6 o’clock this morning....me and Gra caught him sneaking out the hotel with a bucket of soapy water and a big bottle of turtle wax, trying to find the wedding car!!

The next idea was to be a rock star, believe it or not when we left school we were in a band, a few of the people on that table....... were also part of this....... you probably recognized when we walked in..autographs later, I have a  tape if any one wants to listen!!!.show tape.  We really did think we were great, touring only the premier night spots of  Kingston upon Thames, no mean feet in itself.......its very hard to find a premier nightspot in Kingston......you can imagine the scene, grotty smoky pub, us swaggering around thinking we were the Rolling Stones....you know the kind.......3 disco lights in front of the stage.....anyway I think the reason  we never really took off was down to Matt and the disco lights, again due to the colour blindness, a disability that has truly blighted his life you must be thinking..........anyway apparently when ever a yellow light was in his face, he couldn’t play a note...in fact it was probably a yellow light a  red light or a green light or even the moonlight shining through the window!!!


But then as you do, we grew up, we decided we'd have to go and get real jobs, I was never able to follow my true dream of becoming a professional basketball player.....get on tip toes....cant think why!!  But I recall one late night conversation with Matt.........we may have had a drink or 2.............that what ever career he finally chose.....and he was adamant about this as he can be, it would be financially rewarding, very very cool, and in no way a geeky office job.......which I think is amazing.....considering the man you see next to me, spends all day locked in a laboratory, playing with microchips and motherboards building computers!!!!


I actually asked Matt's work colleagues what he was like at work, they all agreed that at work Matt was a true god, I thought what a great compliment and asked them why...they said for 3 reasons.........1. You rarely get to see him, 2.he makes his own rules and 3. If he does any proper work it’s truly a Miracle!!


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To sum up this speech id like to talk about something for all who know Matt that he is truly re-nound for.........his style and appearance!!!......It's true that Matt was the first man ever to sport a pair of Bright PINK converse trainers, in fact I think he is the only man EVER to wear pink converse trainers!!!  Another thing that Matt and I have in common, and Iam sure you will all agree is, our love of hair styling products..........although I was never witness to the legendary "Rats Tail" incident...........as you can see from this early school picture.......the correct hair style has always been of great importance to Matt!!.......Show school photo'!!

Matt has always had a love of quality sportswear,....from full tracksuits and flash trainers.....to the I have just left Swimming practice look.......as we can see in the following Picture…show picture

I think maybe I have been a little unfair hear really..........Matt really does have fantastic taste in clothes...especially shirts.........to prove this......and this is true......while he has been in Northern Ireland this week.........I had a sneaky look in his wardrobe, hoping that he hadn’t brought his favorite shirt over..........luckily he hadn’t...........so hear it is..............and I have honestly seen him wear this!!.....show shirt!

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Matt and Sharon if you could now stand up....id like you to both participate in the closing of my speech, it had been great to have been your Best man on this happy day, so thank you......Sharon if you could put your hand out.....don’t worry, its not a magic trick,...and now Matt if you could do the same and place your hand over your Wife’s.........that looks great, but Matt now you are a Married man..........that truly will be the last time you have the Upper hand over Sharon!!!

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You'll probably glad to hear that I am just about finished..........and now in all seriousness.....I mean it!! Matt and Sharon  Thank you for letting me play a part in this very special day.......  I have to say that to all who know you, you really are both great friends, always supportive, always kind and always there if you need them!  Matt you have been a true friend for a long time as we know, and Sharon the same within all our groups of friends and family those that are here today, and those that sadly couldn’t be here!

So on a final note, I think Matt and Sharon make a fantastic couple who as we can see who are truly happy together and will be for many many years to come!  

I would like to wish you both all the health.......happiness and Success in the World..........
So if you could all now be upstanding and join me whilst I raise a toast to the new Mr and Mrs Parr........Ladies and Gentlemen.....Matt & Sharon!!

END!!!

Telegrams -

Matt, many congratulations to you on this very happy day!  We will miss you a great deal this weekend.......takings will definitely be down!!  We are still wondering why you rejected our quote for the catering your wedding day!  But don’t worry as soon as you are back, the buy one get the second half price offer will still be running -  

From Luigi and the boys at Domino's Pizza - Kingston!

..........

Dearest Sharon,

If married life ever starts to get you down.......you know you are always welcome, whenever you like.......day or night......anytime you choose..... your to come straight back home and live with us again  Lots of Love - Mum and Dad -  Look down, oh no sorry - that ones actually from Matt!!

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