How to Ask Politely for Money as a Wedding Gift

Rather money than a dozen toasters? Here’s how to ask your guests politely for a gift that you reall


The date has been set and the venue has been booked, now lets turn to the list as long as your arm that you have left to do! We are hoping that list includes creating your wedding gift list... because it should! Family and friends will want to bring a gift to your wedding and to ensure you don’t end up with five vases and 3 cutlery sets. If you already live together and so have all the necessary items you need for your home, how do you ask your guests politely, that you would rather have money instead of a gift?

No guest is expected to bring a wedding present, but it is tradition to do so and many guests may ask about the gift list if they cannot see it mentioned anywhere on the invitation. If you have decided against a gift list and would prefer to have money put towards something else, it is better to be honest with your guests about this. There is no need to feel embarrassed as your friends and family should know you are a couple and your lifestyle.

Asking for money instead of a gift list is more common than you may think. A lot of money goes into planning a wedding and many couples cannot afford a big honeymoon as well as a grand ceremony. Money is, therefore, the best gift you can give them. Perhaps if you are thinking of re-doing your house, money received from guests could be put towards this.

You are most likely now all thinking, so how do we ask for this money? You could ask for it in two ways. Firstly, be up front and put it on your invitation, for example... ‘As you may already be aware, Nicola and James already live together and therefore will not be asking for any gives, however, if you would like to donate money towards their new bathroom, there will be a post box at the reception for cards’. Alternatively, say something along the lines of, ‘Instead of creating a wedding gift list, Nicola and James have decided to save for a once in a life time honeymoon. Do not feel obliged but if you would like to contribute towards their honeymoon fund, please follow the directions enclosed’. Many travel companies now create a booking for you, with a reference number that you can pass on to your guests. Your guests then have the option of calling the travel agent, quoting the reference and contributing some money towards the outstanding balance.

Some Top Tips from to Help You Get a Gift You Really Want

  • Stay prepared and put a wedding post box at the reception. This way you don’t have a load of envelopes to keep safe.
  • Keep organized and compose your gift list option before you send out your invites
  • If you have requested money from your guests, mention what you plan to spend the money on in your thank you notes after the wedding.


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