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Paying for the Wedding Day

Parents who pay for weddings - should they be given control?

One of the main concerns people are faced with when deciding to tie the knot is money. Years ago, when couples commonly married young, it was the norm for the father of the bride to take care of most of the bill for the wedding day. This quickly changed and began to include the groom’s parents also. The bride and groom themselves didn’t have to pay.

This was mainly to do with the fact that they often married so young and therefore would not have had the ability to be able to fund a wedding.

This does not apply to weddings in today’s society as much anymore but it can still pose a serious issue for brides and grooms-to-be. For example, for families who may have a considerable amount of money, the parents will help out as much as they can. They may pay for the flowers, the reception or the wedding dress but will not be required to pay for the entire thing. However, it can be tricky when parents have saved up thousands of pounds to pay for a wedding as there is the added risk that they might want to take over the entire thing.

If this is the case, brides and grooms will not to reach a compromise with their parents and only allowing them to have a certain level of control. No couple wants their parents to have control over their wedding planning and considering that not many people will have the same tastes as their parents, agreeing where to draw the line is essential.

Deciding on whether parents should have a say in who to invite to a wedding that they are paying for will be the biggest hurdle you and your partner need to overcome. They may be keen to invite distant relatives and family friends who you may not have even met instead of people that they genuinely wish to be there.

Picking out the wedding venue and its reception could also cause problems. Parents who are paying for it may feel that they should have the right to decide where the wedding should be held, including making decisions on food and drink, entertainment, accommodation etc.

For those couples who have found themselves in this kind of situation whereby the parents have offered to pay for the big day should consider themselves incredibly lucky as weddings are an expensive affair and could cost up to €25,000. However, when it comes to compromising on decisions, you must not lose sight of the fact that this is your wedding day.

The overall tone of a wedding essentially needs to be an expression of the bride and groom’s personalities. The important thing is that they feel comfortable in their skin, whether they choose to have an extravagant day or a relaxed and casual day, bending to the wishes of the parents will not have good results.

Compromise is the key here. Unless you completely agree with everything your parents suggest with the wedding and therefore hand over all control to parents funding the wedding, do not allow them to pay for the entire affair. Suggest they pay for particular aspects and give them creative control over some things, just to keep them happy.